So what did I do with my holiday?

Lets look back on that list I had last time:

Practice Piano? Not at all

Read ahead for next semester? uhm…yeah, didn’t happen.

Charis Camp? Yeah! 1/3! Good few days off, good time to get my head back on straight, good time to set my life back in order (least I hope).

If anything, going away for a few days reminded me of the reason why I’m doing all this stuff. It was as if I was so busy doing the stuff that I forgot why I was doing it. Thanks for reminding me of the direction I’m supposed to go on.

To whoever’s reading: I hope you had a nice holiday!

To myself: Remember to keep doing devotions.

~Jackk

Its funny how I always go back to maple story. A few friends (the one that introduced me to the game to begin with + his friend) started playing, so I figured I’d join them. As always, its all about the bowmaster, and how to buff him, so I’ve made a mercedes to get the link skill. And I’ve been farming coins for clean slates. Its not everyday you can fix up your scrolling mistakes….if only they had clean slates for life, haha.

I remember when I told my friend Victor about changing majors, and the vehemence against the idea he had. He said I’d regret it, and as much as I hate to admit it, he’s right. I miss music. I miss being in front of the piano. When you have 6 English courses, you don’t have time to sit in front of the piano and just play, or practice, and I miss that. Every time I listen to amazing music, I feel nostalgic, and I miss the piano. Life sucks, but there’s only 4 more months of this. One more semester of 6 English courses, and I’m gradding. What comes after, I decide not to think about. I’ll deal with it as it comes.

I’m finally getting into the Christmas mood. I got a CD for Christmas last Sunday, and usually I find those a waste because I never buy CDs (as much as I hate to admit it, I download music when I listen to music, and as shocking as it might sound, I rarely listen to music, despite being a music major), but I’ve popped the CD in, and have been playing it on repeat since. It’s been the best present I’ve gotten, because it reminds me of so much of what Christmas is. The CD is Casting Crowns’ “Peace on Earth”, and the lead track, “I heard the bells” really hits home. The lyrics tell a story of Christmas coming around, as it always does, but Christmas appearing as a deception, that “peace on earth” is not real, but in the face of this doubt, the bells ring on more the loudly, bringing reassurance.

I can so relate to that. Life has been overwhelming me, and I wonder if I can even think about Christmas for what it is, and remember Jesus’ birth. This reminder has done so for me and has brought peace to me and reminded me of what Christmas is: to pay tribute to Jesus’ birth and what He’s done. I hope to be able to do that in the days to come, before Christmas. How I will do it, I’m not sure yet, but I’ll find a way.

As for what I’ll do this Christmas: Practice piano, read ahead for next semester, Charis Camp for a few days next week, and then its back to school to get started all over again.

Whoever may be reading, I wish them a peaceful, meaningful, Christmas,

~Jackk

I’m also finally getting sick and tired of being taken advantage of. English comes easy for me. I read roughly 100 pages/hour, write 1000 words/hour, and edit at 1000 words/10 minutes. Because of all this, I always have friends coming to me asking for help to make their papers sound better or fix up mistakes they’ve made. I’ve always done it for free without care. Nevermind that many of them only talk to me when they have stuff that need to be edited. Nevermind that I’m helping them earn money because I’m editing their work things for free. Nevermind that I’ve had people promise to pay me for the help I give them and never pay up. I’ve done this since Grade 11, and I’m fine with helping friends unconditionally because that’s what friends are. But its at the point where people expect me to do it for them and guilt trip me when I don’t. From last week till the end of the semester, I have 8 papers due. I’ve now done 3 of them, and have 5 more. I need time to do my own things too. I need time to relax too. I’m pissed off by the fact that they’re out having fun while I’m stuck in front of my computer editing their work and writing my papers. I know I’ve said I’d do it for free, but I’m annoyed that they make it sound like a crime I’m asking for a bit of money from them in exchange for editing their work when I’m broke. Iono…something about this all has just gotten to me. They’re out having fun, spending their money, while I’m sitting at home because I’m broke, and I’m busy getting them A’s. I’m frustrated that they take advantage of my personality, that they know I’ll eventually feel bad and edit their stuff for them. And I’m angry at myself for never being able to say no when things do not pass my moral lines.

I’m sick and tired of life. I feel disappointed and hollow. I don’t want to do this anymore, but what the hell, I know I always just return right back to it again. It’s just who I am, fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t know.

That one Newsboys song called “Where you Belong” really describes how I feel.

“When you’re dull from all that glitters,

When your thoughts have a hollow ring,

When you can’t escape from the feeling, you’re getting it wrong.

All your foolproof plans seem foolish,

All your status is status quo,

All you really need to know, is where you belong.”

I really want to know where I belong. I really want to get out of this hell and just get this all over with. I know the song doesn’t end there. I know it continues “Turn your eyes upon Jesus, look full in his wonderful face. And the things on Earth, will grow strangely dim, at the light of your glory and grace.” but for whatever reason I can’t find comfort in it.

Time to sleep, and see what tomorrow holds. I know I’ll continue on business as usual. No one will be the wiser, but sometimes, one just need to let his thoughts out, so here I am.

~Jackk

and I am pleased to tell you that you have been accepted to the English Majors Program, Literature emphasis.  Congratulations on your achievement.

The English Major specialization will be added to your record within the next week.  If (and only if) you no longer wish to be in the Majors Program, please inform our Majors Program Assistant,—– ——-, via e-mail at: _______________ at your earliest convenience.

etc. etc. etc.

Well, I’m in. A month of waiting and wondering if anything went wrong (I.e. Missing the application date, sending the application to the wrong place, processing mistakes), I receive an email to tell me I’ve been accepted. Double Major here I come. Gonna cram this extra major in this year, and graduate without any further delays.

Is my future clear now? Nope. However, it’s a step closer to where I feel He is calling me to.

~Jackk

The other day, I was slacking (yeah…I had homework to do, and didn’t feel like doing it…we’ve all been there, no?), and I clicked on the archer council forums (http://archercouncil.co.nr/) . The first thing I noticed on the forums (other than how dead it was) was that it said my last logged in date was October 4, 2007, more than 4 years ago. It brought back many fond memories of being a little archer back when no one made archers (Ascension rolled around last month or something…archers have flash jump now, and our puppet stuns, and we get +40% hp…what the heck, man) and every archer knew every other archer. However, it also hit me with a tinge of sadness. All those friends I had, that I’ll probably never meet, nor talk to again. What happened to Kareem? Or Pillo, who I ended up in bad terms with? Or that other archer from Vancouver who posted there that I really never talked to? Or Max or Chazz…the list goes on. I tracked some of them on rankings. Some of them are still there, others are not. But it’s obvious they’ve been gone forever, like Chazz, as he’s still 160 after all these years.

And then I thought about the blogs. Josh/B0wjob, Copious the inferno archer (inferno actually burns now!), G4, Max, Randy, Idyllia (man, I don’t even know how to spell it no more), Kyra (who randomly sent me an email I think a year ago that I replied to and never heard back from)…No one visits these blogs anymore…heck, I dont even visit them myself. Last I heard, Josh was at seminary in Hong Kong, and I completely lost contact with him, but I hope he’s doing well.

And then I went through my own blog, and saw the “About me” section. I was 18 when I wrote that. I only had one major back then (and actually thought I was going to do music for the rest of my life, haha). Some of my interests havent changed (favorite books, favorite drinks and food), while others have fallen away (Anime and manga, haha), and heck, I lost 10-15 pounds! Regardless, I’ve left the old one there as “old” and updated it with a “new” one, though as I said there, no one visits here, or any of the other archer blogs anymore. They’re like ancient structures now, places long abandoned; all that remains are some ruins and some memories and stories of the past. More on that some other time.

My how things change. How people grow up. That video trilogy is still waiting for a finish. Things that mattered back then don’t matter that much anymore, as sad as it is to say. But sometimes, it is nice to have closure.

~Jackk

Ps. I wonder what LordUhai’s up to these days…

I discovered something about myself this week…one of my fears. For the longest time, I havent been afraid of anything tangible in a long time. If someone asked me what I was afraid of, it’d be “being wrong without knowing Im wrong”, or “the uncertainty of the future” or something along those lines. But with the recent turn of events, I’ve realized I had a fear that I’ve been running from for a while.

Needles. I’m afraid of getting shots. I haven’t gotten a flu shot in 5 years (since I was old enough to tell my parents I didnt want to get it), and its the reason I still have my wisdom teeth: Why pull them out, which will cause guaranteed pain, when they might not even hurt? I’ll take my chances with them aching (which they do at times) than deal with yanking em out. I’ve always hated the painkillers they used when you go to the dentist  and always refused to take them. Even when I was younger and had no choice but to have work done, I’d just have them ice the veins in my mouth, and operate without painkillers.

So at the end of last year, I got food poisoning on a trip to Calgary, and started coughing non-stop for 7 months, till the end of July. No medication worked, and while it might go away for a short time, it’d always come back. My doctor sent me to a specialist, who sent me to the hospital to do some tests, and a few weeks ago, they diagnosed me with a severe case of asthma. What does this mean? I cant be around dust (yay for having to vacuum my house like…every week now), and I cant be around perfume (yay for a legit excuse to turn girls down! just kidding). I also have to carry a puffer with me everywhere I go in case something happens, for allegedly, my asthma is serious enough that if I leave it unattended, I could die from it. In addition to this, I had to do something I hadn’t done in years: Get shots.

The specialist said that I HAD to take the seasonal flu shot as well as a pneumonia shot because if a person with asthma caught pneumonia, it could be life threatening, and my family doctor agreed. I used my usual excuse (“Maybe next week, when I’m not busy” and then never show up for it…I mean, I’m in University,  when am I NOT busy?), but my doctor knows me too well. He was like “Fine, when you step out of here, make an appointment for next week. If you don’t, I will call you every day till you do.” Guess I had no choice, so the next week, I was sitting there in the doctor’s office again, preparing to get my two shots.

I had two thoughts at the time: 1. Hurry up and get it over with and 2. I don’t want to do this. I’ve had shots all my life, and I know what it’s like. It’s just a quick needle in and out, spanning maybe 2-3 seconds, and you’re done. However, for whatever reason, I hated it, even though it shouldn’t be a big deal. Two needles took a little longer: probably 15-30 seconds, and I was done. However, I knew that I never wanted to do that again.

And then came the bad part: the soreness in the shoulders. That’s normal after shots, and in the past, with the numbness, I’d make sure to sleep on the side that I didnt get injected in, so that it didn’t hurt. So what do I do when I just got shots in BOTH shoulders? I’ve never been able to sleep flat on my back, so the first night, it took me till 5 am before I fell asleep, and I promptly woke up at 2 pm…which was when my second class usually started. Wednesday didn’t go so much better; I slept at 4, and last night, I slept at 5 again. My shoulders are STILL numb (maybe from the pain of sleeping on them), and Im not sleeping well. I almost didn’t wake up for class this morning and even set my alarm clock for my next class (which conveniently rang while I was in class) before I finally made myself get out of bed and head to school. Man, sleeping on the bus was awesome. I didnt have to lean on either shoulder, so I could sleep without pain (why didnt I sleep on the couch or in a chair at home? I can only sleep sitting on the bus. I cant even do it in class!), to the point that I didnt even know that a friend had sat down beside me the wholeee bus ride till she said hi when we got off (now that I think about it, I think I knew the guy sitting on my other side too…).

So…what now? I think life will go back to normal again: I’ll hopefully get back to my normal sleeptime and catch up on all the schoolwork I’m now behind on. Hopefully my asthma will get better. I now have to wear a scarf everywhere I go to keep my throat warm, because even a normal cold can trigger a bad asthma attack (if anyone wants to get me a Christmas present, you know what to get!). Otherwise, I’ll just have to keep going. Schoolwork never stresses me out mentally, no matter the amount. However, it seems that I’m getting old; my body can no longer handle all the stress all the work I do puts on it (20 credits first term in addition to teaching ESL, tutoring high school students, teaching kids Friday nights, two choirs, and coordinating the youth group at my church). I vowed I’d reprioritize and drop some less important things, but in the end, I picked them all back up again…I really am hopeless, eh? X_X

~Jackk

I feel lonely, I feel insignificant, I feel astoundingly lost. In fact, I even feel a bit of fear, fear for the unknown as usual.

I think I understand EXACTLY how Elijah felt when after he defeated the prophets of Baal, he goes into depression, as I feel somewhat like that at the moment. After a wonderful prayer meeting last night, and a wonderful night with friends today, I feel completely down and unsatisfied with school looming on the horizon. The sermon on Sunday was about finding satisfaction in Christ, and what is separating us from following Christ, and right now, I feel there’s a hole in my heart that for whatever reason is feeling unease. I have all the head knowledge, I know EXACTLY what I need to do, but I just…can’t.

I’ve done lots during the summer, and grown quite a bit in the summer, and thinking back from when I started this blog, heck, when I started maple story till now, I’ve grown from a boy into a man. But for whatever reason, that isn’t enough for me; I’m not satisfied. I really don’t know.

Regardless of what is going on, I have two days to get my life back into order.

Till then,

whoever may be reading, and as a message to myself, I sign off,

~Jackk

I’ll start by saying this: I don’t think the Canucks were as good a team as everyone thought they were. Yes, they won the President’s trophy, by a hefty margain (10 points over the Washington Capitals), and yes, they had 12 more points than my beloved Sharks. However, look at their division. The rest of the division consisted of the Flames (10th), the Wild (12th), the Avs (14th), and the Oilers (15th). Now with all due respect to those teams, that’s 3 of the 4 worst teams in the Western Conference, and NONE of the other teams in it made the playoffs. That’s 6 games against each of 3 of the 4 worst teams in the conference. That’s over a quarter of your games against pathetic teams. Now, perhaps these teams only finished so low because the Canucks beat up on them so much (5-1 vs. Colarado, 5-0-1 vs. Calgary, 4-2 vs. Edmonton, 3-3 vs. Minnesota, 17-6-1 overall), but these teams still have to play each other, so SOMEONE has to be getting wins, right? Compare this to the Pacific Division (I’m a Sharks fan, I know): San Jose (2), Anaheim (4), Phoenix (6), Los Angeles (7), Dallas (9). OUR WHOLE DIVISION almost made the playoffs, and they would’ve all made it if they won their last game on the last day. We’ll never know, but what would happen if the Canucks played in a REAL division where the teams put up as much a fight as an AHL team?

The players and the organization have no class. Throughout the playoffs, I keep hearing from this team, their GM etc. about how good they are. And when they lose, it’s the referee’s fault. And they’re pretty vocal about it too. Gillis after game 6 in Round 1 vs. Chicago (okay, so I agree with him there), Vigneault complaining about Thomas’ playing style, the list goes on. Yes, I understand that complaining about the refs is part of the game, part of playoff hockey, and I know the Sharks have done it too, but there is great hypocrisy here, as the Canucks dive more than soccer players. This team plays cheap and embellishes every tiny hit. Kesler, Burrows, Lapierre. I remember one specific play against the Sharks, where Kesler goes in to slash Boyle’s stick out of his hand, break’s his own stick, then throw it up in the air as if he got slashed. I also remember one play against the Preds in OT where Kesler tucks Weber’s stick underneath him and holds it there to draw a holding penalty that resulted in the winning goal. Burrows gets calls going his way as often as he’s won the cup, and that is based on his past, not because the refs just randomly decided to choose him to pick on. Don’t complain about officiating when your players are swimming as often as skating.

The  fans. Every team has their bandwagon fans, and perhaps I just feel this way because I live here, but this fanbase has the biggest load of bullshit ever. It’s always amusing to check facebook after games. Up 3-0 against Chicago, EVERYONE was posting about the Canucks, how awesome they are, how great they are, how they’ll win the cup, blahblahblah. A week and 3 Chicago wins later? Silence. After game 7? They’re all back again! In full force! Nevermind that Chicago ALMOST won the game in Overtime but didn’t thanks to a big Luongo save. Nevermind the magnitude of the collapse, as Toews scores SHORTHANDED with under 3 minutes to go. The Canucks win, and everyone treats it as if it were a blowout. The place is silent when Nashville ties the series at 1, and extremely lively when they go up 3-1.

And now, insert my personal bias: The Sharks series. I have to be one of the few Sharks fan in Vancouver, and naturally with them facing off, it was friendly banter both ways. At the end of the series, all my canuck fan friends come and rub it in my face. Natural, and justifiable, as they won. However, the Canucks didn’t beat us. The refs did. I’m not talking about uneven powerplays or missed penalties or anything like that. I’m talking about the clear non-icing call that turned into an icing that allowed the Canucks to tie game 5. The series was closer than the 4-1 final showed. Game 1, we led 2-1 for most of the game, and had a good chance of winning if not for a 30 second collapse in the 3rd where they scored 2 goals. Game 4 saw us go down 5 on 3 three times in a row (This game was on the Sharks for losing though. Give the Canucks credit. We failed to convert 5 first period powerplays, and the Canucks took advantage of the chances they were given. Fair enough), and Game 5 was won on…a ricochet off a stanchion. For goodness’ sake. You guys won off a lucky bounce in a game that should’ve ended 2 hours ago. Don’t make it sound like you dominated play and valiantly defeated the Sharks, cause you didn’t. Don’t go telling me that “we had missed penalties too”. That’s COMPLETELY DIFFERENT. Penalties are subjective. Icing calls are not.

Now lets go to the finals. I’ve heard some of the funniest things from Canucks fans, such as “It’s the ref’s fault. We should’ve won in 5″, or “The Bruins play so physical”. Reffing goes both ways, you can’t blame the refs for that. In the end, the refs arent putting pucks in the net. You have to take advantage of the situations you’re given. It doesn’t help that you guys let in more shorthanded goals than you scored powerplay goals (with a ratio like that, you can have all the powerplays you want). Both teams were physical, and just as Marchand got away with some things (and didn’t get away with others), so did your players (short of the Horton injury). The Mason Raymond injury was unfortunate, but cannot be completely blamed on Boychuk (they were tangled together and went into the boards. 9 out of 10 times, both players get up and keep playing). Don’t go insisting on a 4 game suspension like what Rome got because they’re two different things. Late headshot =/= unfortunate tangle that led to an awkward run with the boards. And win in 5? Serious? Winning in 5 means you’d have to have won one of the games in Boston. So which one did you think the refs made you lose? 8-1? 4-0? You scored ONE goal in two games. No amount of reffing on your side would’ve saved you.

And now, the riot. Vancouver Canuck fans seem VERY insistent that the rioters were not their fans, but troublemakers wearing Canuck jerseys, that the riot wasn’t started by them. While that’s true (the riot has since been blamed on a group of anarchists who are “professional rioters”, whatever those are), that doesn’t completely take the blame off Canuck fans. Don’t you think that’s letting yourselves off too easy, Canuck fans? In the end, everyone has to be responsible for their own actions. Yes, the riot was allegedly started by a group of anarchists, but that didn’t stop Canuck fans from taking part. Many of the people who took part were definitely Canuck fans, and though they may claim it was out of nature for them, they did what they did. I understand that these are a small minority, that every group has their black eyes, but don’t go shifting ALL the blame elsewhere. Not only that, but how many Canucks fans made efforts to stop the riot? How many Canuck fans made an effort to help the police in restoring order? Search for some videos online (for example, that Jason Li BMO video). What do you see? A mob of people wearing Canucks jerseys and shirts. Oh right, they’re all anarchists, right? The number of people actually breaking the glass was small, but how many people stood around, video recording on their phones or just standing by and watching? How many people actually tried to stop these rioters? You guys claim that these anarchists and disgraceful canuck fans are a small minority, so why werent you, the Canucks fans, the majority, able to do something about it? Why is it that those who DID try to help quench the riot got hurt instead? “If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the problem”.

Don’t get me wrong. Canuck fans are not all bad. And I admire their unity and their class in volunteering to clean up the mess that was left downtown, even if they had no part in the riots (I went downtown last Friday, and I’d have to say, it looked VERY clean compared to the live footage, and I was amazed at how much work was done). I feel it is unfair to label all Canuck fans with the same brush of shame, or label them as “the worst fans in all of North America, even worse than the Raiders”, as one radio host said. All I’m saying is to shoulder the blame (as some have done), because you’re not all as completely innocent as you want to believe.

So what went wrong with the Canucks? They seemed to be doing very well up till the finals. They were up 3-2 in these finals. What went wrong?

Simply put, the Bruins had more heart. The Bruins had more character, the Bruins had more fight in them. They have Tim Thomas, Mr. Inspiration himself (I had said before the series to my friends, this guy plays on emotions, and by that fact, he’ll have an awesome final, because there is no more emotional scenario than the Stanley Cup Finals. Fueled by that emotion, he’s unstoppable), the guy who didn’t start playing in the NHL till his 30′s. I remember when I first heard of Tim Thomas, I thought he was your average 24, 26 year old goalie, who spent a few years in the minors, developed, and got good. I was shocked to find out he was 32 at the time. This means he’s spent 10+ years developing before finally making it to the NHL. This is one guy who knows not to take anything for granted.

Nathan Horton. What the Bruins did for this guy, how they rallied around him, is simply amazing. Starting from the flying of a Nathan Horton flag by Bobby Orr in game 4, to the setting up of his gear in his locker, this guy was a rallying point for the Bruins. They wanted to win one for Horton, who’s been a big part of their playoff run. And this guy was part of the team, even though he wasn’t on the ice. He was at the games, cheering his team on. Heck, he even tried to convince the training staff to let him take the concussion test and tried to gain clearance to play game 7. Kobe says basketball players are as tough as hockey players? I beg to differ. Their injuries are nothing compared to these.

The Bruins defense. I never thought I’d say this, and Canuck fans may beg to differ, but the Bruins D is more in sync than the Sedin twins. The play that really stood out to me was the save half way through the 2nd period by Chara. Sure, Chara stopped the puck there, but you’d have to look at the rest of the D too. As they said on CBC, Thomas had the bottom, Chara had the top, so Burrows had nothing to shoot at. However, the unsung hero of the play was Seidenberg. He was sprawled beside Thomas, blocking any passing lane that Burrows might’ve had. Burrows had no choice but to shoot, and he didn’t have much space to shoot at, with a giant Chara there. Throughout the whole series, the Boston D was in sync, blocking out scoring chances, laying their bodies out there, putting pressure on the Canucks so they had to settle for not as optimal chances, or rush their decision making/shots. Thomas gets all the credit, yes. But as I said to one of my friends, “Thomas is thriving right now because the D around him knows how to play with him. He wouldn’t be this good on any other team in the league”.

Roberto Luongo. Keep. Your. Mouth. Shut. Seriously, instead of talking so much, just go play the game. I understand, it was an answer to a question, a comment blown out of proportion, but behave your age. “I’ve been pumping his tires all series, and haven’t heard a single good thing about me”. What are you? In grade 2? Your goal here is to win the cup, not heap compliments in hopes that they’ll compliment you back. Instead of focusing so much on all this nonsense, focus on playing hockey. You could’ve used it. You looked absolutely horrible in those 4 losses. You weren’t able to come through like Mr. Thomas was when it mattered most.

The Vancouver Canucks. Seriously? Planning your parade after game 5? Trying to sell the broadcasting rights to it after you go up 3-2? If Boston didn’t have anything to wake them up, then this’ll definitely do it. Teams that plan prematurely usually don’t end well (the one that comes to mind is the Philedelphia Eagles planning a super bowl parade route before playing the Patriots). There’s plenty of time to plan the parade after you ACTUALLY win something. Don’t go jumping the gun now, especially since you’ve been outscored 14-5 in the first 5 games. How does this parade look now?

Daniel Sedin. I’m gonna go through a few scenarios here, and what might potentially happen.

1. Andrew Alberts  guarantees a win in game 7. His team goes “what the heck, Andrew?” The Canucks MIGHT get slightly motivated. In fact, they’re probably more confused than motivated. However, the Bruins, hearing this is motivated, and more determined to win than ever.

2a. Daniel Sedin guarantees a win in game 7. The Canucks are motivated as one of their leaders has come out, highly determined and ready to go. The Bruins are also motivated, as they would want nothing less than to spoil this guarantee.

2b. Daniel Sedin guarantees a victory, then unguarnatees it. First of all, is unguarnatee a word? Secondly, the canucks, first motivated, are now demoralized by the comment (or even if not demoralized, but at least they perhaps lose the motivation they would’ve had after the initial guarantee). However, the Bruins are motivated by this guarantee, and even MORE motivated after the unguarantee. So what are we left with? A  normal/demotivated Canucks team vs. a VERY HIGHLY motivated Bruins team.

Good luck. Guarantees happen in sports all the time. However, we only remember them when they actually happen (Ex. Joe Namath). Do we remember Anthony Smith guaranteeing a victory over the Patriots in their undefeated season (was his name even Anthony Smith?)? Do we talk about Jon Kitna guaranteeing the Lions making the playoffs (or was it 10 wins?) more than we do about Joe Namath and the New York Jets? What I’m saying is that once you guarantee something, there’s no turning back. Even if you didn’t mean it, you can’t back down. You’re in a no win situation that you have to win in. Backing down doesn’t do you any good, as what’s said is said. The other team isn’t just going to forget it and take it off their bulletin board material. All you’re doing is harming your own team. We see the results (of this and many other things combined): 4-0. If you didn’t mean it? well, then don’t say it.

Mike Gillis. Not so much as motivation but arrogance post-series. According to the guys on the radio, Gillis seems to believe the reason his team lost was because of attrition. Too many guys got hurt that they weren’t able to overcome it. That’s nice, but your team wasn’t the only team with injured guys. Sure, the Bruins probably didn’t have 11 injured guys, but injuries happen. You can’t go blaming injuries as the reason you lost. Simply put, you got outplayed. Your 12-year contract goalie got outplayed by a 40 year old. The Bruins players came through and the Canucks didn’t. Sure, Henrik and Kesler were hurt. That doesn’t explain where Daniel went all series. Do you see the Sharks blaming injuries for losing to the Canucks (in fact, we were just as banged up as you guys were by the end. We had 9 guys injured in one fewer round)? All we said was that it was our fault for playing so poorly first half so we had to push so hard since January to make it, and that we’ll move on, and try again next year.

Speaking of that phrase, Canucks fans threw it at me a lot, as if it were the Shark’s slogan: “There’s always next year”, indicating that the sharks never win, and never will. Well, to close off, I’ll say this to Canucks fans: There’s always next year. Welcome to the long summer without a cup, just like the Sharks, and good luck to you next year. May the better team win.

~Jackk

Ps. Man, that was fun to type up xD Hockey stress relieved! Go Couture for Calder Wednesday!

What does this year hold? I have no idea, but I’m not really going to fret either. My birthday’s on a Sunday this year, so I’ll definitely be at church in the morning, like every other Sunday. Then my church has a volunteer event where we will go clean up and down a street called Victoria Drive that is close by my church, and I intend to go to that, just because its something I want to do, to serve the community. Then there is a prayer meeting at night. That eliminates all elements of surprise that can possibly come, as the whole day’s booked so that’s out of the way. Just like any other day.

So the question becomes, what am I asking for? To be honest, I really don’t know. Last year (not sure if I posted about it on here), I asked for (serious brownie points if someone was actually able to guess it)…

Wisdom.

Im not sure about anyone else, but even to myself, it seemed an odd thing to ask for. At that time last year, I was having a lot of trouble with a certain few people of no fault of my own, and what I simply wanted was wisdom to know how to deal with the situation properly, in a manner that was pleasing to Him, as well as in a manner in which all parties didnt have to be hurt. At that time, I was reading the story of Solomon (and how God had offered to give him ANYTHING that he might want…WHATEVER he wanted, all he had to do was ask, and it was his), and how he chose wisdom. I was baffled by his choice (and one would have to think, the person asking for wisdom obviously doesnt need more because he is wise already to ask for such a thing…I digress), but at the same time, the more I thought about it, the more it made sense, and the more I felt that I needed something like that in my life too.

Flash forward a year, and looking back, I would have to say that my wish was definitely granted. I feel (if wisdom can be felt) a lot wiser than before, and I’ve made many mistakes that I’ve had the opportunity to learn from, so that I can make better choices in the future. I’ve resolved these conflicts I had with these certain people, I’ve become a lot better at dealing with problems when they come up in general.

Which brings me back to the question, what now? what this year?

More wisdom? One can never have too much wisdom.

Wealth? I don’t ask for material things

A birthday party? Its no big deal to me

A vacation? There’s simply too much Im doing right now for me to have time for a vacation (and though I’d love to visit Boston, New York, and the East Coast, I simply can’t at the moment, not just because of time constraints, but monetary constraints as well).

A girlfriend? …just kidding xP

In less than an hour (least for me), it will be June for me. I have 3-4 more days to figure this out, and I will be back then to let myself, and whoever still reads this know what I have chosen to ask for, if anything.

Final Exam’s on Thursday, I really shouldn’t be here, but I’m here anyways. LLED 489A is a VERY amazing course, and the professor is REALLY awesome. If you’re at UBC and looking for a course to take which will teach you a lot (Trust me, it is NOT a GPA booster, but you will have your mind turned around in circles, and you will LOVE the course), then here’s your course.

Till later,

~Jackk

The first was the path to Golgotha, and the sheer number of people there lining the roads there, coupled with the humiliation Jesus was going through. I remember back in elementary school, the biggest punishment when getting caught doing something wrong wasnt whatever the punishment was, but the embarrassment of having the whole class watch you get caught and punished. Now imagine that thousand-folded. Imagine standing in the middle of a full house football stadium, and having your deepest, darkest secret that you want no one to know exposed to everyone in the stadium. And even that would not even come close to comparing with what Jesus went through.

The second scene was when Jesus was on the cross, and the Sanhedrin were mocking him, taunting him, saying “If you’re really the Messiah, come down from there. Show us your powers.” The amount of bullshit that Jesus had to endure was simply outrageous. Its like kicking someone that’s down already, dealing someone a low blow. It wasn’t enough that Jesus was on the cross, these people had to make sure Jesus went through hell, taunting him and mocking him, while he can’t do anything to retaliate. And that’s the thing, it wasn’t that Jesus wasn’t able to retaliate. He COULD. He could simply go “screw you all…*rips off the nails and jumps down* believe me now? What do you have to say now? Mock me? Well, you’re gonna get it now.” And not only did he not do that, but he even went the opposite direction; he prayed for these people and petitioned for them before God, asking Him to forgive them for their folly. Imagine working 30 years at a company, and then having these newbies who just worked there for weeks taunting you, telling you you have no idea what you were doing. I don’t know about you, but my blood would be boiling. Hell, imagine being ks’d in game on a map that you were on first. You have EVERY RIGHT to be pissed off, and Jesus had every right to be pissed off as well. Yet he took it all, he swallowed his pride. He had all the power in the world to fight back, to yell back, yet he quietly, humbly took all the bullshit thrown his way.

And that brings us to Good Friday. So why, why in the world would any sane person decide to put up with all this? To be physically tortured to the point where they can barely walk, and suffer the worst the historic masters of torture had to offer, to put up with being embarrassed in front of that many people, and to endure the taunting and shredding of his pride in such a manner. And here is where it is so amazing. Christ did this for me, for everyone. He suffered through all of this, so we can be redeemed. This weekend, don’t treat it as just a long weekend, but instead use it to reflect and remember what Christ has done for us. I wish you all a restful, thoughtful Good Friday/Easter weekend.

~Jackk