January 10, 2012
My Last Semester
Well, school’s started again. One last semester till I graduate. You know how most people have chill last semesters before they graduate? Well, that’s not me. I have 7 courses in my last semester x_x. Yeah, Im only here for 3 days (Tu/W/Th), but I have 3 online courses too. So…yeah, these last 4 months’ll be quite the ride, but bring it on!
So what did I do with my holiday? Read the rest of this entry »
December 22, 2011
Pre-Christmas Post
Exams ended last Friday for me, and I’ve been “recovering” since then. What’ve I done since exams have finished? Nothing. Literally nothing. Well, nothing productive anyways. My sleep schedule’s been messed up since before exams (I basically just slept when I needed to, without regard to the clock) and sad to say, I STILL havent fixed it up yet (It’s 730 am…since when was I EVER up at 730 am, huh??), but it’ll come, hopefully.
November 15, 2011
Where You Belong
I’m finding life frustrating. It’s no one thing; it’s everything piled on together. I’ve never had any difficulty handling my music degree, but I’d have to say, doing an English degree in a year is harder than it sounds. I have 6 English courses this semester, and 6 more next. It’s partly my fault, but I didn’t open 3 of my online course packages till a few weeks ago, just to find out how behind I am in them (because I had been so busy with other things in my life). I had papers and assignments due weeks ago that I had to catch up on, and after 2 weeks, I finally caught up on 2 months of material in those 3 courses. And right after I’ve caught up, I have to face current deadlines: Philosophy paper due Thursday, another paper next week, 2 more the week after + an assignment, and then 1 more after that. And right after that is finals.
I’m also finally getting sick and tired of being taken advantage of. English comes easy for me. I read roughly 100 pages/hour, write 1000 words/hour, and edit at 1000 words/10 minutes. Because of all this, I always have friends coming to me asking for help to make their papers sound better or fix up mistakes they’ve made. I’ve always done it for free without care. Nevermind that many of them only talk to me when they have stuff that need to be edited. Nevermind that I’m helping them earn money because I’m editing their work things for free. Nevermind that I’ve had people promise to pay me for the help I give them and never pay up. I’ve done this since Grade 11, and I’m fine with helping friends unconditionally because that’s what friends are. But its at the point where people expect me to do it for them and guilt trip me when I don’t. From last week till the end of the semester, I have 8 papers due. I’ve now done 3 of them, and have 5 more. I need time to do my own things too. I need time to relax too. I’m pissed off by the fact that they’re out having fun while I’m stuck in front of my computer editing their work and writing my papers. I know I’ve said I’d do it for free, but I’m annoyed that they make it sound like a crime I’m asking for a bit of money from them in exchange for editing their work when I’m broke. Iono…something about this all has just gotten to me. They’re out having fun, spending their money, while I’m sitting at home because I’m broke, and I’m busy getting them A’s. I’m frustrated that they take advantage of my personality, that they know I’ll eventually feel bad and edit their stuff for them. And I’m angry at myself for never being able to say no when things do not pass my moral lines.
I’m sick and tired of life. I feel disappointed and hollow. I don’t want to do this anymore, but what the hell, I know I always just return right back to it again. It’s just who I am, fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t know.
November 2, 2011
Dear -name removed-,
The Majors Committee has now met to review applications, Read the rest of this entry »
October 27, 2011
Fears
Well, I havent been on wordpress for a good month or so now, and it took me a good 5 minutes to find how to make a new post.
I discovered something about myself this week…one of my fears. For the longest time, I havent been afraid of anything tangible in a long time. If someone asked me what I was afraid of, it’d be “being wrong without knowing Im wrong”, or “the uncertainty of the future” or something along those lines. But with the recent turn of events, I’ve realized I had a fear that I’ve been running from for a while.
September 6, 2011
Another School Year
Well, school starts today, but I don’t start till Thursday. And much like many of my thoughts lately, I’ve been met with mixed emotions. Today, busing home after chilling with some friends for the last time this summer, I couldnt help but think, “Next year at this time, where will I be? What will I be doing? Will I be any closer to knowing what the hell Im doing with my life?” And my answer to those questions is “I don’t know”, which I’m sure many of you will understand, is a scary and depressing thing. Simply put, I hate saying good bye, and I hate when things end. And as I head into a new school year once again, I can’t help but think “Is this the last time I’ll do this?” No matter how bad things get, I will always miss them when I do it for the last time.
June 20, 2011
Of Vancouver and the Stanley Cup Finals
As a poster in my last post has noted (accurately, I might say), I am indeed from Vancouver. And as a Vancouverite, we’ve been through a lot the last week. However, I’m different from your average Vancouverite in one very distinct way: I am NOT a Canucks fan. In fact, I DISLIKE the Canucks. This is not a byproduct of not following hockey (I’ve been a hockey fan since I was 9, probably spent thousands on hockey cards as a kid), but rather a byproduct of cheering from another team (the San Jose Sharks). Naturally, this takes away from my Canuck bias (though I might have some anti-canuck bias), but I would like to give my take on these finals, the Canucks in general, and the riot.
May 31, 2011
What now?
So…its less than a week away from my birthday, and with it comes the question, “What do I want?” Now for myself, I don’t really care much about my birthday, which seems a bit contradictory when I start off with “What do I want?”, but I don’t ask for material or tangible things. I don’t plan my own parties, and I don’t ask for gifts, I just treat it as any other day. That being said, I’ve had three straight interesting birthdays the last 3 years. Three years ago, they gave me a surprise birthday party that I saw miles away. Two years ago, they planned my party, and then forgot to tell me about it, and I almost didnt end up going to it till a friend called me asking how I was getting there. Last year, I spent the morning of my birthday (I had to wake up at 7 am on my birthday!) at church for a MG (band) practice, just to have the guy with the key sleep in and show up an hour later than we had planned to meet.
What does this year hold? I have no idea, but I’m not really going to fret either. My birthday’s on a Sunday this year, so I’ll definitely be at church in the morning, like every other Sunday. Then my church has a volunteer event where we will go clean up and down a street called Victoria Drive that is close by my church, and I intend to go to that, just because its something I want to do, to serve the community. Then there is a prayer meeting at night. That eliminates all elements of surprise that can possibly come, as the whole day’s booked so that’s out of the way. Just like any other day.
So the question becomes, what am I asking for? To be honest, I really don’t know. Last year (not sure if I posted about it on here), I asked for (serious brownie points if someone was actually able to guess it)…
April 22, 2011
Good Friday
Today, I watched Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of the Christ” for the first time with a group of friends from church. Good Friday is tomorrow (well, today now), and while the movie itself had some iffy parts, it definitely stimulated thought on the reason for this weekend. The gruesome physical pain suffered by Jesus is obvious. The movie did a very graphic job at portraying that, though I feel that what Jesus went through was actually way worse (I don’t remember from where, but apparently, with the whipping that Jesus took, for most people, 3 was enough to render them unable to walk and stand, yet Jesus took 30 of em, and still had to carry the cross). However, what REALLY hit me were the psychological suffering Jesus went through. There were two scenes that really stuck out to me.
